people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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