Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
