Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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