I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize