walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Ladies don't puke and tell
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
