I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
