Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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