I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
