i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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