Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
