well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
