We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
