Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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