my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
