Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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