where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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