did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
