Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
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