just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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