This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
