I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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