Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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