It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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