I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
