Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
