never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
It's blow job season.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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