All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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