You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
you win again, gameday.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
