Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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