There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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