You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
