So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
