Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
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I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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