I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
