He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
