There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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