So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
