booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
