Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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