he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
