Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
