operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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