oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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