its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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