i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
She told me I should be a condom model.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
