I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
