I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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