Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
he fucked my hip out of place.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
