ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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