If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
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I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
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Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.