You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
