I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
someone owes me an orgasm
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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