our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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