Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
