I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
