Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
