eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
