woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
