So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
