The maid of honor just puked.
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
