I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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