just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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