That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
