3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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